The Use of the Word “I”: the Ego

Vanity and Pride are one of the life lessons that lead to spiritual perfection. We must all go through these experiences in order to move past it. The ego is reflected in the word “I”. When we use the word “I” in everyday conversation, we are unconsciously putting ourselves on display and asking to be noticed revealing that we seek attention based on our merits or accomplishments. The word “I” is used to set ourselves apart and draw attention to ourselves. The spiritually more advanced souls perceive these individuals as humans who still have not uncovered their self-esteem and true confidence within. For when someone no longer needs to display themselves nor separate themselves from others, it exudes an inner self-confidence.

While working at Island Def Jam, a friend of mine once told me that a person who is in a position of management or leadership should never use to the word “I’ in emails or conversations. Instead the word “we” should replace it. It made me realize how while at Def Jam, I tried so hard to prove to the executives that I had what it took to be a great and talented leader. However, because I tried so hard to prove it to them, it silently ostracized me from others whiling revealing my unconscious lack of self confidence. Had I truly been in a position of leadership, it would have exuded from my pores without the constant fight and the constant trying to prove to others of my value. One of the characteristics of good leadership is wisdom. Wisdom comes from the experiences of handling difficult circumstances. It was obvious that this was the one element I lacked. And my superiors and peers sensed it without knowing exactly what it was that I lacked. My peers perceived me more as an “aggressive to succeed” individual which spawned much hatred and jealousy. I had that fire to motivate and inspire others for greatness; however, I did not know how to channel that energy properly due to my lack of experience in management. Its very refreshing to look back at such a difficult period in time and see the life lessons come to pass. The closure and wisdom gained has made me a much more humble human being.

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